Often we get caught in a trap of listening to a critic more than we listen to a coach. There are qualities that separate the two and hopefully by identifying these two qualities you’ll be better equipped to choose what voice you’ll listen to.
Critic
A critic will be quick to point out all the wrongs but often will not do anything to help you get better.
That is the TRUE definition of a critic and most of the time a critic will only set you back more than they will propel you forward. Listening to these types of voices are dangerous because we’ll be lead to think that we’re doing all the wrong things and no matter what we do we won’t get better or make a difference.
I remember I had someone tell me that I doing something the wrong way and this person told me time after time what they thought. They wouldn’t give it up telling me how wrong I was! They never offered to help me! Not once!
They were doing what critics do best – point out the wrongs and do nothing to help.
When we give these types of people attention it does nothing for us and everything for them. It shows them that what they’re saying is valuable information to us and they’ll keep doing it the more we show interest.
The best way I’ve found to handle critics is to ignore them! I think it’s OK to ask what their problem is but it’s in your best interest just to make the choice to avoid this negative voice.
Coach
A coach will identify areas for growth while helping you achieve that growth.
Coaches are not meant to set us back but to help us grow. Coaches act as a voice to trust that gets you where you need to be in whatever area it is that you’re trying to grow in.
There was a situation one time where I was struggling with something at work and I had a coach named Justin. Justin saw an area in my leadership that I could grow in and he didn’t just criticize me and say “figure it out” and “Bryant you are wrong” he took the time to help me identify the area for growth and then he showed me some ways of how I could do it. He walked WITH me through it.
A coach won’t leave you but instead stick beside you.
Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. (Proverbs 27:6)
The bible tells us that we can trust wounds from our friends because they’ll stick by us and help us grow to become better.
Paying more attention to the coaches in our lives will get us farther and set us up for the best results possible.
Reflect:
- What coaches do you have in your life?
- Who or what is an critic in your life?
- Do you often focus on the critic or the coach more?
- What is a practical step to help you focus more on the coach?
Bryant Westbrook 